![]() In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine, they made Sinatra look like a hobo. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man than the rest. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. There was a time, a time before cable, when the local anchorman reigned supreme, when people believed everything they heard on TV.Tonight's top story: the sewers run red with Burgundy's blood. Como éstan, bitches! Spanish language news is here.Not so fast, you ingrates! Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive to kick some ass.Apparently, my son was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd.Right, I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Oh, you never have? O - Of course you haven't. We've both seen our share of pornographic materials. I have no idea where he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. Right, but I think my son is just going through a phase.It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation.Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call "mentally retarded." I like to eat ice cream, and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. People seem to like me because I am polite, and I'm rarely late. I woke up this morning on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would not stop screaming!.Anyway, I've become kind of famous for my signature catchphrase, "Whammy!" As in, "Gene Tenace at the plate. ![]() You know, get a couple of cocktails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. ![]() You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang. My left one is James Westfall, and my right one is Dr. I know what you're asking yourself, and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. Because the only way to win is to be the best. But while they're laughing and grab-assing, I'm chasing down leads and practicing my non-regional diction. Well, the truth is, I don't really have a choice. And we will tour the countryside, and you won't be invited! And then our children will form a family band. And there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs.
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